


Oblivion

by bestaceinspace



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode 1x09 Unbound, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1353118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestaceinspace/pseuds/bestaceinspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you walked into that building, you had no idea only one of you would come out, but all did feel too familiar for you to ignore. You didn’t want to separate from your partner, that was the truth, and when you saw Dorian walking in another direction, you wondered if it had even been a good idea to come after the XRN at all. But you were not the one to give up that easily, even knowing what it meant to face something like that. You had experienced it before. It was like seeing the devil once but ignoring the terror and going back for more, facing it despite everything, at the end of it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So, I started this fic twice and I thought I couldn't go on with it. The first time I wrote it, I was not happy with what I had so I basically erased everything and started again and this is what came out of it.
> 
> I just had this thought in my mind and I couldn't help but wonder what could happen in episode 1x09 (Unbound) if things didn't end up so well like they did in canon, so yeah, here we are.
> 
> I will continue this and I'll do my best to keep writing and updating.
> 
> PS: I broke my own heart with this.

“You don’t have a soul. You _are_ a soul. You have a body.”

Walter M. Miller, Jr

.

_They say it doesn’t matter where we come from, what we are made of, flesh and bones or titanium and synthetic features; we are all the same if we have a soul. But no one really knows, in the end, what it truly means to have a soul. Is it a celestial intent and, if so, did God give it to us, or is it something that has always been meant for each human since the beginning of time? Are they immortal, the souls? Do they go away with our bodies when they rotten under the earth when we pass away?_

_Do souls die?_

_A wise man once told me something about memories and how everything is connected to them. He was not a scientist or a man of faith, but he talked about how our experiences are related to us, how he believed our bodies are able to carry them if we truly are born again and again in different bodies through the course of time._

_But there are memories of the soul, he said, and the ones which are too heavy for our hearts to carry. So, unfortunately (or a blessing, for some), we leave parts of memories behind in our bodies when we go away, even though, in the end, they don’t really leave at all. They come back to haunt us, they are attached to our souls, they are a part of our beings, if we have a body or not._

_Some say that’s why we really never cease to exist. We are reborn for that, for the memories. They keep us alive. We come back to have a chance to heal every wound we didn’t have the time to treat before, within the years we had in the last time we were on Earth._

_In the end, the wise man told me, the truth we all seek… No one will ever find. Not even technology will help us. But one thing I do believe in…_

_There are the memories of the body. There are memories our hearts are not strong enough to keep for remembering can be painful at times, but the soul… The soul never forgets, and maybe that’s what it is. Souls are what we are, what we carried with us through any circumstances._

_Maybe they never die, after all._

.

When you walked into that building, you had no idea only one of you would come out, but all did feel too familiar for you to ignore. You didn’t want to separate from your partner, that was the truth, and when you saw Dorian walking in another direction, you wondered if it had even been a good idea to come after the XRN at all. But you were not the one to give up that easily, even knowing what it meant to face something like that. You had experienced it before. It was like seeing the devil once but ignoring the terror and going back for more, facing it despite everything, at the end of it all.

The end, though, would be another thing, even worse. What you would have to face if you had given up. Those machines were not something humans could control. They were another level of robots, of technology, and having to face your own bizarre creations was like facing the apocalypse, seeing how things can break apart too easily when power took control of people’s minds, like happened with Dr. Vaughn.

You were not (you _are not_ ) invincible, nor the MXs. Dorian was not unbreakable. Dorian could die. You could die walking into that building while trying to stick a needle in the neck of a killing machine. It all sounded too strange since the beginning, but the Doctor seemed to have good intentions, and you couldn’t ignore the way he looked at Dorian with such care. He worried so much about your partner that it somehow made you threatened by the interest and admiration with which Vaughn looked at your DRN. It all could go terrible bad, and you couldn’t imagine how much damage Dorian would suffer if anything went wrong, not only could he get hurt physically, but also… He did have a bleeding heart, and you couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he ever got his heart shattered… If he had his soul damaged in any way, what would it do to him?

Dorian seemed so fragile thinking like that, you noticed. Even with all the perfect synthetic parts and titanium structure, he was nothing but also part human like anyone else in the force. If you dig too deep, if you crack something until it completely breaks, then you can tear anyone apart, even someone like Dorian.

In the end, the thing was, if someone didn’t walk out of that building; you expected it to be you. And, apparently, you seemed fine with it. You were born for the job, after all.

If someone were to walk out of the building in one piece, alive, it would be Dorian, but it didn’t end up quite like that at all when you found the DRN on the cold hard floor, the Danica’s eyes fixed on him, ready to finish her job.

.

He was barely in one piece when you both ended up the XRN’s destruction. You did stop her in time, she blew up in front of your eyes, and you saved yourself just in time, but the adrenaline kicking inside your veins suddenly ran cold when your eyes fell on Dorian again.

He was barely conscious when you got down on your knees and held the back of his neck with one of your hands, the other you kept resting on his chest, like you could feel him breathe to assure yourself he was still there with you. It didn’t mean the same thing, people would say, losing him and losing a human. It was different, he didn’t take his last breath, his heart didn’t stop beating, but he did know what the forming tears in your eyes meant, even though you could not feel them yourself.

He simply looked up at you with bright blue eyes, tired, a light starting to vanish completely if it was not for the charging he had left inside of him. You held his head up from the floor, trying to ignore the fact that maybe it was the only part of him you could still save. You shook your head, and it was like you could feel your heart stuck in your throat. You thought about how pathetic you would have seemed to your past self now who thought Doran would never mean anything to you besides a bunch of plastic and titanium.

How wrong you were, back them. How wrong you are, at that moment, thinking everything would be okay if you could save him.

You could _not_ save him, like you could not save so many people in the past.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop her without putting you in danger”, Dorian said, and he brought you back to where you stood, holding him, reaching out for air like you were the one dying on his arms. How ironic, and you could almost laugh if it was just a joke, but it was not.

“Shut up”, you groaned. Your voice sounding harsh because deep down you hated yourself more than you ever got to believe you hated Dorian. You never hated him. You could _never_ hate him.

“You are worried about _me_?” You asked, astonished.

“I want you safe, and you are”, he said, smiling weakly at you, visibly happy you were still alive. “I like you, John, I really do.”

You didn’t say anything for a long while, and you heard the sound of the other cops walking around, away from you two, making sure Danica was gone for good. You didn’t know what to say, and maybe Dorian was okay with it.

“You are the best human experience I’ve ever had”, he added right before he looked away from you. Maybe he didn’t want you to be the last thing he saw, which didn’t make sense, since you remembered him saying he wondered who would remember him when he was gone. You remembered thinking that maybe he didn’t want to be alone. Then why, why would he look away in such a terrible moment?

Maybe because… Did Dorian ever think you didn’t like him, was that it? That he was not important as everyone else?

_The people whose lives you changed will remember you,_ you thought, and you remembered saying something similar, and you finally knew what it meant having your heart stuck in your throat.

_I will remember you_ , you though, and that was why it hurt so badly when he looked away from you.

“I will remember you”, you said finally, and Dorian’s eyes were fixed on you again, his head turned against your hand, and you could feel his cold cheek on your warm palm, making you shiver. You wondered if robots ever cried. You wondered back there if Dorian would cry, seeing you like that, so brokenly human.

He looked at you, smiling like you were the whole humanity summed up in one person. Dorian looked at you until there was just emptiness in his eyes, all humanity gone.

_I will remember you._


End file.
